Reflections On Biblical Femininity
…learning what it really means to be a biblical woman
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
Proverbs 31:30-31 NIV
There are many aspects of my life that have experienced true and complete transformation in my sanctification journey. One of those areas is my nature as a woman and my views on femininity. Ever since I turned twenty-five, I have seen a natural progression from being “just a girl” to fully embracing womanhood. I guess you could say I’m in my “Becoming” phase. The Lord has truly changed my heart when it comes to how I see and conduct myself as a woman and what true biblical femininity means.
When I was a little girl, I loved girly things. As I grew a little older into my pre-teen years, I gained a ton of weight my last two years of primary school and that affected the way boys treated me. I was shorter and chubbier than the other girls and that put me in the category of the least desirables in the class. I was friends with the boys but they never liked me like they did the other girls. One of the boys told me straight to my face that he didn’t consider me one of the girls as I wasn’t as pretty as them. Little boys sure can be cruel. That feeling of being unwanted led to me being ashamed of my current state and made me completely detached from embracing any form of femininity. I was more accepted as “one of the boys” than “one of the girls”. So I leaned into that and tried to be as least feminine as possible. I thought since the girly thing didn’t work in my favor, that maybe if I could relate to the boys more, they would like me if I presented myself as one of them.
I had to undergo a lot of reprogramming, even though the scars of being seen as undesirable and not feeling as feminine were still there. I was fairly young but kids tend to internalize things at a much deeper level than we’d like to admit. That’s why we spend most of our adult years healing from things that happen to us as children. I eventually lost all the weight in my teen years. Physically, I was different but mentally I was still the same. A lot of my healing took place when I attended high school at two different all-girls Catholic schools. Constantly being around other girls for six years taught me so much about myself and girlhood. Six glorious years spent around different types of wonderful (and not so wonderful) girls helped me understand how to handle female relationships but also how to embrace my feminine nature. From there, I started to slowly shed off the lies that the enemy had put in my head.
In my teens, I fully gave my life to Christ and experienced a radical change in my identity. The Lord completely delivered me from my identity crisis and I embraced biblical femininity. I was truly restored completely through the power of the Holy Ghost. It was like night and day how the Lord completely changed the desires of my heart. The shame that had been over me was no more. That girly little girl that had been hidden under all that shame finally came back to the surface. I was free.
There are many aspects of biblical femininity that I had to learn through reading the word. The Word of God is very clear about what a woman is and who she is meant to be. God-willing, I will write more about this in great depth in future posts. However, there are some aspects of my feminine desires I had suppressed that are considered foolish today from a feminist perspective. I truly believe that women are not a monolith and femininity can be expressed in various ways. However, there are some general principles or characteristics we can reference that encompass natural female desires and qualities.
“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.”
Psalms 127:4 NIV
God designed women to bear children. This is God’s original design for all women. Due to the fallen and sinful world we live in, there are many reasons why the mandate of childbearing may pose to be a challenge to execute in current society. Women being unable to bear children, by choice or not, is a result of that fallen state. So naturally, under normal circumstances, women have a natural inclination or desire to have children or become mothers.
In my personal experience, I want nothing more than to have a family of my own. In fact, I would want nothing but to live for my family and serve them for the rest of my life. Saying this is almost controversial in today’s society. A woman devoting her life to serving her husband and children is considered a gamble and a complete waste of her life or talents. My mother did exactly that and she is a fantastic, fulfilled woman. I don’t view her life and devotion as a waste but one of great accomplishment. I do understand the opposing views though as I thought the same too at some point. Though good men exist, I would say a large number of men today make it hard for women to embrace God’s design. There is an active gender war, plus complete distortion and perversion of how men and women should operate together in society. Women would much rather self sustain to avoid being tied to a burdensome man.
“so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
Titus 2:4-5 AMP
I won’t go any further into the depths of that conversation. But, I have learned to not be ashamed for wanting and desiring things like marriage and children over a career. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a career as well. The Proverbs 31 woman was far from lazy and was a woman who had a job too. However, you can clearly see by her motivations that her job was mainly for providing for her family and it was not for her personal accolades. That’s the kind of woman I want to be.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV
The feminist agenda has brainwashed most women into believing their education and self-motivated accolades are what truly matters. It’s good to be an academic and successful in your career, but when it becomes the center of your life, pride becomes your poison. The idea of the well-praised “girlboss” just the normalization of prideful women who will do anything to reach their own selfish desires and goals. That is not Christ-like. Pride, at times, begets character traits that tend to come off as masculine in women. Being overly ambitious, competitive, aggressive, harsh, and many other negative stereotypically un-feminine traits. Not to say these negative qualities are acceptable for men but they tend to manifest in men more naturally than women. Women are meant to be strong but also gentle, kind, and soft. The bible clearly states that a woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth to the Lord (1 Peter 3:4). Being loud and aggressive is not strength and it’s definitely not of any worth in the eyes of the Lord.
I plan on writing more as I learn more in my “Becoming” season. If there’s anything I would encourage any woman reading this article to do, it’s to read the word and seek counsel from the Holy Spirit for what it means to be a woman. Seeking that knowledge from the internet or secular media is not the way to go. Though the themes may seem less aggressive and promote a type of femininity that seems biblical, a lot of it is riddled with ungodly themes. Secular feminine education tends to gravitate towards New Age-y themes, male manipulation tactics, and many other perverted ideas. Just because it doesn’t look overtly aggressive like stereotypical feminist messaging, doesn’t mean it’s edifying to your soul. Use discretion and discernment.
The Lord is still growing me in this area and I am open to learning as well as receiving correction on this journey. I am extremely grateful to God for not only saving me from eternal damnation but for redeeming me from the shackles of my identity crisis and saving me from absorbing corrupt views. Salvation doesn’t stop at just getting us to heaven but also involves complete deliverance, redemption, and healing through sanctification. I pray the Lord heals every woman fearing embracing their true nature and the desires God has placed in their hearts.
Prayer:
Dear God, I lift up my sisters today. Please help them to embrace womanhood in a way that is pleasing to You. May the lies of the enemy not control their lives and cause them to stray from your perfect design. Give them boldness to embrace who you made them to be. There is no shame in that. Heal any wounds that may be holding them back from fulfilling their purpose. Holy Spirit, guide us into all Truth that we may avoid counterfeit wisdom. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
grace and peace to you all.
This was a good read. Although I think there are still some ideas that still tangle in my brain.
For example, if you were raised in a single parent home. You saw so much sacrifice and nothing when it came to a partnership or two people thing.
So for the single parent, they had to play multiple roles and come in as different positions, depending on the situation. So that type of influence leave something. If that makes sense. Thank you for the read once again.
Thank you for sharing. In the past couple of weeks, even today, I was thinking and searching how to be a feminine woman but in a way that pleases Christ. Thank you for this post.